About five months ago I made a mistake that’s still haunting me. I was underemployed, working part-time as a temp making just enough money to pay for rent and my auto insurance. Coincidentally, these are the only two bills at the time that required real money to pay.

Now I’ve had a debit card since I started working for the family business at 12 and a credit card since around 16 and I’ve always considered myself a fairly responsible card holder. I never used the card for things I couldn’t afford otherwise, I always paid on time, and I never carried a balance. But while I was looking for a job I figured it would be okay to use the credit card a little, just for groceries and whatnot. I told myself that I would only be carrying a balance until I found a job.

What I didn’t know, since I’ve never dealt with it before, is just how amazingly hard it can be to get rid of a balance.

It didn’t help matters that I didn’t live like a monk like I was planning to. Once I got used to the idea of carrying a balance I bought more than just groceries, and once I finally landed a job I didn’t worry half as much about buying anything at all. I even stuck a plane ticket home on for Thanksgiving on it which, while a legitimate expense for a credit card in my book, was not necessarily a fiscally responsible one while carrying a balance.

But here I am, five months later, and I’m still carrying a balance. Part of the problem is that while the minimum isn’t that much, making an actual dent in the amount involves taking money out of my luxury income for the month, meaning that I don’t have any money for extra expenses or things that come up, leading me to put expenses on my credit card again.

The entire thing weighs me down. It’s not just that this cycle of trying to pay off the debt makes me feel like crap, but I feel like a deadbeat. I feel as if I’ve fallen into the same old money pit that everyone else does.

So I’m making a plan. Here are my steps to losing my balance:

1) Put at least $500 a month towards it.

This isn’t as much as I would like to put towards it, but I understand that, as a person, I’m not really capable of living like a complete monk for several months. I’m going to want to do some things; I’m going to go out occasionally. I really want to have a bed frame. Leaving myself some luxury income will make me more likely to pay off the debt in full and will keep me from adding more expenses on. I won’t be living lavishly, but I won’t be horribly off either and I’ll be able to continue adding money to my savings.

2) Use the rewards to pay off the balance.

I actually have a fairly good reward card where I get money back quickly. Now, my first impulse is something along the lines of “free money!” and to spend it as such. It’s not and I shouldn’t treat it as such.

3) Leave the card at home.

The last thing I want to do right now is add more money to the debt I figure that the best way to keep myself from using the card is to avoid contact with it as much as possible. I have enough money in my savings that if an emergency does come up I should be able to take care of it with my debit card, and I think the card likes its new desk drawer home.

There’s probably more I could be doing, and if I can’t manage to bring my balance under control I’m going to have to re-evaluate whether I honestly need a credit card at all in my life. Or whether I should just cut this one into pieces and order another when my savings are back up to snuff.

Either way, I’m going to have to be vigilant from here on out.