Adjusting back to the real world after City Year is surprisingly difficult. It’s not that I have a problem with Seattle (it’s beautiful and there are always tons of things going on) but I’m suffering from something I haven’t had to worry about for a while: a lack of purpose.
While I was in Americorps the issue was moot. I was doing good and changing the world, heck those ideas are right there in the CY motto. But now that I’m out it’s hard for me to figure out my reason for existing. Why am I here? How has my presence changed anything?
It’s tough going to work for a paycheck again. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I’m employed. I like everyone in my office, the work is interesting, and I am helping people a little. But I’m craving something more. I want to have a bigger impact. I want purpose.
So I’m branching out a little. I went out and purchased a pair of roller skates and started practicing and then last weekend I went to my first PFM new skater orientation. For those of you who don’t know, PFM stands for Potential Fresh Meat, and it’s a practice and training group for roller derby up in Seattle.
That’s right, roller derby.
I’d love to one day get onto a team, but that means I have to practice my butt off now, learning my stops, building the proper muscles, figuring out how to skate in a group. It’s tough, but it’s awesome at the same time.
And while it doesn’t fill all the gaps, it does help with some of the holes. Enough to get me through the day at least.